I am torn in two but I will conquer myself. I will dig up the pride. I will take scissors and cut out the beggar. I will take a crowbar and pry out the broken pieces of God in me. Just like a jigsaw puzzle, I will put Him together again with the patience of a chess player.
How many pieces?
It feels like thousands, God dressed up like a whore in a slime of green algae. God dressed up like an old man staggering out of His shoes. God dressed up like a child, all naked, even without skin, soft as an avocado when you peel it. And others, others, others.
But I will conquer them all and build a whole nation of God in me -- but united, build a new soul, dress it with skin and then put on my shirt and sing an anthem, a song of myself.
I saw your wife tonight. No Athena. No Medea. No Adelita nor Malintzin. From what I could observe She is a women risen from a rib Like any other-- Two eyes, two breasts, one uterus. She did not arrive Wearing raiments of gold On a barge from the Nubian Nile. No Botticelli pearl was she Riding the crest of a wave On a pretty half shell. She did not trophy Serpents in each upraised fist Mighty as a priestess. She neither graced her Walk with flowered skirts And balanced basket, Nor stand Carmenesque, Hands on hips, and thrust Her haughty laughter out. She did not sling A rifle upon her back, Nor a child across her breasts. Fire did not issue from her gaze And no music from her lips. Her hands were clean, Here forehead modest, serene. How did I fail to understand? A female, like any common female.
After the praying, after the hymn-singing, After the sermon's trenchant commentary On the world's ills, which make ours secondary, After communion, after the hand wringing, And after peace descends upon us, bringing Our eyes up to regard the sanctuary And how the light swords through it, and how, scary In their sheer numbers, motes of dust ride, clinging- There is, as doctors say about some pain, Discomfort knowing that despite your prayers, Your listening and rejoicing, your small part In this communal stab at coming clean, There is one stubborn remnant of your cares Intact. There is still murder in your heart
you say that everything is very simple and interesting it makes me feel very wistful, like reading a great russian novel does
i am terribly bored sometimes it is like seeing a bad movie other days, more often it's like having an acute disease of the kidneys
god knows it has nothing to do with the heart nothing to do with people more interesting than myself yak yak that's an amusing thought how can anyone be more amusing than oneself how can anyone fail to be can I borrow your forty-five I only need one bullet preferably silver if you can't be interesting at least you can be a legend (but I hate all that crap)
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i can't tell you i hate you ~*~sekritly now. boo!
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I must open up anon comments here, then. :|
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(Anonymous) 2008-08-20 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)but I will conquer myself.
I will dig up the pride.
I will take scissors
and cut out the beggar.
I will take a crowbar
and pry out the broken
pieces of God in me.
Just like a jigsaw puzzle,
I will put Him together again
with the patience of a chess player.
How many pieces?
It feels like thousands,
God dressed up like a whore
in a slime of green algae.
God dressed up like an old man
staggering out of His shoes.
God dressed up like a child,
all naked,
even without skin,
soft as an avocado when you peel it.
And others, others, others.
But I will conquer them all
and build a whole nation of God
in me -- but united,
build a new soul,
dress it with skin
and then put on my shirt
and sing an anthem,
a song of myself.
(Anne Sexton // The Civil War)
no subject
(Anonymous) 2008-08-20 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2008-08-20 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)No Athena. No Medea.
No Adelita nor Malintzin.
From what I could observe
She is a women risen from a rib
Like any other--
Two eyes, two breasts, one uterus.
She did not arrive
Wearing raiments of gold
On a barge from the Nubian Nile.
No Botticelli pearl was she
Riding the crest of a wave
On a pretty half shell.
She did not trophy
Serpents in each upraised fist
Mighty as a priestess.
She neither graced her
Walk with flowered skirts
And balanced basket,
Nor stand Carmenesque,
Hands on hips, and thrust
Her haughty laughter out.
She did not sling
A rifle upon her back,
Nor a child across her breasts.
Fire did not issue from her gaze
And no music from her lips.
Her hands were clean,
Here forehead modest, serene.
How did I fail to understand?
A female, like any common female.
For a common male.
(Sandra Cisneros // The New Year)
no subject
(Anonymous) 2008-08-20 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2008-08-20 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)After the sermon's trenchant commentary
On the world's ills, which make ours secondary,
After communion, after the hand wringing,
And after peace descends upon us, bringing
Our eyes up to regard the sanctuary
And how the light swords through it, and how, scary
In their sheer numbers, motes of dust ride, clinging-
There is, as doctors say about some pain,
Discomfort knowing that despite your prayers,
Your listening and rejoicing, your small part
In this communal stab at coming clean,
There is one stubborn remnant of your cares
Intact. There is still murder in your heart
(Mark Jarman // Unholy Sonnet)
no subject
(Anonymous) 2008-08-20 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)it makes me feel very wistful, like reading a great
russian novel does
i am terribly bored
sometimes it is like seeing a bad movie
other days, more often it's like having an acute disease
of the kidneys
god knows it has nothing to do with the heart
nothing to do with people more interesting than myself
yak yak
that's an amusing thought
how can anyone be more amusing than oneself
how can anyone fail to be
can I borrow your forty-five
I only need one bullet preferably silver
if you can't be interesting at least you can be a legend
(but I hate all that crap)
(Frank O'Hara // Yesterday Down at the Canal )
no subject
(Anonymous) 2008-08-20 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)