Feb. 15th, 2005

slumber: (relevant for the season)
I had a post planned for V-Day, and it was a one-liner and it was cool and bitter and true, but then Valentine's came and suddenly I didn't want to just wonder why I want it so much if I'm not supposed to know what I'm missing anyway.

But then there was this and there was this and, well, thank you. Whoever you are. And I utilised my weekend fully (saw Alfie and Phantom of the Opera on Saturday, had a Thai massage on Sunday) and I feel slightly more content, and ALSO, I realised I have one of those schoolgirly crushes again.

A couple of years back, there was this boy who just completely amazed me. He was Very Pretty and cool and brilliant and I just sort of madly loved him in the way that you see Japanese schoolgirls in animes madly following the school heartthrobs around. Oh, I knew he was way way way beyond my reach, but he still made me flustered and blushy and just brushing past him made my day. So much. I'd turn so red and if people figure out why, I wouldn't stop giggling. It was obsessive, but harmless, and it was fun. I'd see him and I'd go, "Aww, pretty!" and then everything will be sunshiney happy and stuff for the rest of the day.

He was my Big Schoolgirl Crush for at least two years.

So yes. I have another Schoolgirl Crush. Mind, I've had a couple of them--I swear, I never really know WHY I'd like them at all, it certainly just isn't on someone cute or nice or funny, so I've since brushed it off as some sort of appeal on their part. Big Schoolgirl Crush (BSC) had that appeal. Jude Law (JL) has it. One Other Person That I Can Remember (OOPTICR) had it too. And now, Someone New (SN) has it.

And it's funny, feeling this giddy sort of schoolgirly feeling all over again, over SN. I just needed to say that. Whether SN can read this or not is irrelevant, really, I'm just making it known because otherwise, I'll implode. It's just so different from liking someone, because usually it's all lukewarm for me, but with Schoolgirl Crushes I need to be able to squee and bounce and giggle and I need to have someone see it, need to have someone roll their eyes at me, need someone to pat me and tell me I'm being silly. It's always been part of my Schoolgirl Crush experiences, I guess, so today, for Valentine's, I'm publicising the squeeing, more for my sake than anyone else's.

Wherever you are, regardless of whether you read this now or not, I am infatuated. I hope you have a happy St Valentine's Day.

--

Also. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.
slumber: (curled up in a corner)
I am sick. My nose is runny and my throat is sore and my head hurts and I'm missing two classes and I had to rush a take-lunch quiz for Accounting. *flops*

ALSO.

I got a shifting form from my college. I've been planning to switch course since last semester, and I only found the courage to start doing anything now. I got into an Accounting program because I thought it had Business courses in it too, so you know, getting both would be getting a fall back for one or the other, right? Except. The course I got only HAD Business in the name; it really WAS just all Accounting. My plan now is to shift to the plain Business course, which is what I'd wanted all along. (Well, not really, if it were up to me I'd have taken Creative Writing or Psychology something, BUT it's what I THOUGHT I was getting into.)

The problem is the parents. These are the people who wanted their children to take up Medicine, who were pleased I wanted to be a lawyer, who made derisive comments about me being a high school guidance counselor when I told them I wanted to take up Psychology, whose primary concern in their children's choice of career is not just how much money it makes but whether it has a title or not too. SO YES. Shifting to Business IS a big deal, just because I don't get 'CPA' at the end of my name afterward.

There's no way I'm sticking to Accounting though. I just need to find a way to talk to them and tell them about it, preferably before I really DO go through with shifting, as that's probably only going to infuriate them more.

Any ideas, flist?

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