Ooh la la... I'm writing again!

[slumber]

Hey all. Had to do a little something for Creative Writing, so I finally wrote down a version of my R/Hr story idea regarding marriage, only with different names. Anyway, here it is, unedited and in dreadful need of revisions. My contribution to The Good Ship and answer to my own personal challenge to write a fic for every ship I sail. (Good Lord, what am I going to do with Harry/Sirius?!? :o)

The Marriage Counselor

"Good morning, Doctor. Ron, what are you doing outside? Come on in."

"Alright, alright. Mornin' Doc."

"So... Well... Ginny referred you to us. Said it might help some. Personally I don't know if you'd understand. Well, not really. Honestly? I don't think you'd understand. But hey, nothing's working, right? We might as well. Try this, I mean."

"Boy, we've sunk so low, seeking a counselor."

"Ron."

"Sorry."

"We've been married five years, Ron and I. It hasn't been smooth sailing, but during the last couple of years it's been really shaky."

"Shaky? Hermione, we can't get in a room together without something breaking!"

"Fine! It's been hell, Doctor. I really don't know why, but we want to try working it out."

"If we can."

"Ron!"

"I'm just saying."

"You don't seem to want to work *anything* out. Why are we even here? Why am I even dealing with this? With you?"

"There you go again, Hermione! For Merlin's sake, stop making a big thing out of everything!"

"Is that what you think? I'm making a big deal out of this? This is our *marriage*, Ron, that I'm trying to save here, in case you haven't noticed."

"Oh, I'm sorry, and of course, since this is the almighty Hermione's pet project of the moment, she must be able to work things out. By herself. Like she always does."

"What?"

"It's always what you want to do, Hermione. Always what you think is right. No, no, don't help Hermione; she can do everything by herself. No, no, don't disturb Hermione; she's working and can't be bothered. No, no, don't correct Hermione; she's right and you're wrong."

"What are you saying?"

"You're too uptight, Hermione! News flash: It won't hurt to loosen up once in a while."

"How can I not be uptight? You never take anything seriously!"

"Me? I can't take everything seriously or else we'll worry ourselves into the next century, and you do enough of that!"

"I don't believe this. Is that your problem with me then? What else do you want to say? Are you going to drag Viktor into this too?"

"He deserves to be dragged in! Good heavens, Hermione, we've been married five years and you're still having a correspondence with him!"

"A correspondence, Ron, not an affair!"

"You know he's head over heels in love with you!"

"And you know he's just my friend! I don't love him!"

"Why?"

"Huh? Why what?"

"Why don't you love him?"

"I don't know, Ron. Should I?"

"He's perfect, isn't he? Nice and mature and rich and handsome and willing to give you the world. Unlike me. What's wrong with him? Why… why choose me over him?"

"Because."

"Why, Hermione? Why? He's so much better than I will ever be. He's stable, and won't hurt you. And he doesn't make you cry."

"He doesn't make me laugh either. Come to think of it, he doesn't make me feel anything. Honestly, Ron… He isn't funny or sweet or cute.

"He wouldn't tell me to stop overworking and get some rest, or bring me some hot chocolate when I wouldn't listen and work anyway. He wouldn't bring me down to earth whenever I get my head in the clouds with all those lofty ideas. He wouldn't know how to make me smile when I've had a rough day. He's not… He's not you."

"Hermione…"

"I've loved you for years, Ron. You were my best friend, despite all the arguments we've ever had about anything. You never put me on a pedestal, like all those other people did. You took me for the bossy, overachieving bookworm that I was, and married me anyway. It's my turn to ask. Why?"

"You're asking me why? You're sweet and sincere and determined and driven. You fight for what you believe in. You keep me in line. You encourage me to work for what I want. You believe in me. Merlin, Hermione, I could go on forever.

"I love the way you bite your lips and knit your brows when you're reading. I love the way you roll your eyes when you get exasperated at me. I love the way you tell me about a new project, because your whole face glows and your smile widens and your eyes just light up.

"I love you, and I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"You don't think you deserve me? I don't think I deserve you!"

"Really? Hermione, come here. There. Let's try again, okay?"

"Okay."

"Cripes, I made you cry again. I'm sorry."

"No, no... I'm just glad. I didn't think we'd get anywhere. Let's go home."

"Good. I am, too. Happy, I mean. Bye, Doc."

"Thanks, Doctor. You saved our marriage. I'll be sure to refer you to my friends. Goodbye."

Notes:On The Good Ship my position is the officially unnecessary Marriage Counselor, so yay for the self-insert. Sort of. LOL. Got the idea from a Will&Grace episode. I know it's a bit awkward in most parts, and I really should work on revising it some, but I am a very lazy person... Might try submitting it to FAP and/or SQ, watcha think?

To The Good Ship! :)