slumber

Today I asked the college secretary about shifting courses.

There is something utterly, absolutely liberating with getting up and taking the first step to doing something you've always told yourself you were going to do but were too terrified to even think of really doing. In hindsight, it seems like a slightly useless action as it's only one step of many and the rest will be terrifying and all, but considering the fact that I'd wanted to do this since early September, had planned on going through with it during October, etcetera, I feel fabulously fantastic. This makes it a little bit more real, and I never knew how terribly trapped I'd been feeling until now.

So, yes. Go me!

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The similarity

unrouen and I have is our desire to break the monotonies in our schedules.

The difference between

unrouen and I is that she is gutsier and more inclined to try scary new things out, and she does break monotony in ways I only think of doing.

And I realised, even though every once in a while I do something out of the blue, sort of, I am still tied down to a schedule. There's still, I dunno, times when people know where to find me (Except class, of course, that's silly, I can't miss class. Not always, I mean.) and where I know I will be. It's, well, I've developed habits and I'm quite comfortable with them, but I don't like getting bored and I realise I'm heading toward that direction with the way I'm going, thus.

Changing my schedule. Starting today.

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It's interesting how I started writing in this LJ and kept it from RL because there were things I didn't feel comfortable talking about in real life--with real life friends, because they see me a certain way and I don't really know how they'll react to whatever I feel like saying--and then I end up writing elsewhere and keeping it from fandom because there are things I don't feel comfortable talking about in fandom--maybe for the same reasons I don't feel comfortable talking in real life, maybe for some other reasons too. I've a sinking feeling that if I keep this habit up I'm going to run out of sounding boards and then, where would I be?

How fascinating.