slumber

I had a post planned for V-Day, and it was a one-liner and it was cool and bitter and true, but then Valentine's came and suddenly I didn't want to just wonder why I want it so much if I'm not supposed to know what I'm missing anyway.

But then there was this and there was this and, well, thank you. Whoever you are. And I utilised my weekend fully (saw Alfie and Phantom of the Opera on Saturday, had a Thai massage on Sunday) and I feel slightly more content, and ALSO, I realised I have one of those schoolgirly crushes again.

A couple of years back, there was this boy who just completely amazed me. He was Very Pretty and cool and brilliant and I just sort of madly loved him in the way that you see Japanese schoolgirls in animes madly following the school heartthrobs around. Oh, I knew he was way way way beyond my reach, but he still made me flustered and blushy and just brushing past him made my day. So much. I'd turn so red and if people figure out why, I wouldn't stop giggling. It was obsessive, but harmless, and it was fun. I'd see him and I'd go, "Aww, pretty!" and then everything will be sunshiney happy and stuff for the rest of the day.

He was my Big Schoolgirl Crush for at least two years.

So yes. I have another Schoolgirl Crush. Mind, I've had a couple of them--I swear, I never really know WHY I'd like them at all, it certainly just isn't on someone cute or nice or funny, so I've since brushed it off as some sort of appeal on their part. Big Schoolgirl Crush (BSC) had that appeal. Jude Law (JL) has it. One Other Person That I Can Remember (OOPTICR) had it too. And now, Someone New (SN) has it.

And it's funny, feeling this giddy sort of schoolgirly feeling all over again, over SN. I just needed to say that. Whether SN can read this or not is irrelevant, really, I'm just making it known because otherwise, I'll implode. It's just so different from liking someone, because usually it's all lukewarm for me, but with Schoolgirl Crushes I need to be able to squee and bounce and giggle and I need to have someone see it, need to have someone roll their eyes at me, need someone to pat me and tell me I'm being silly. It's always been part of my Schoolgirl Crush experiences, I guess, so today, for Valentine's, I'm publicising the squeeing, more for my sake than anyone else's.

Wherever you are, regardless of whether you read this now or not, I am infatuated. I hope you have a happy St Valentine's Day.

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Also. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day. ♥