Death in the Internet

[slumber]

Dear friends,

I was supposed to put in an entry about something that happened this morning when I received a highly unusual email.

A few weeks ago, I posted on the ML Armchair Slash (something I rarely do), and I received what I thought to be was a reply to that post, which it wasn't. The reply turned out to be from the brother of the person who owned the email address, informing me (and everyone else that she corresponded with, or everyone else who sent her an email) that she had passed away a few months ago, and that he was simply just setting her affairs in order and letting everyone else know.

I've never been in a situation like this, actually, and it got me into thinking. If people we know die in real life, we usually would hear of it because we know them through our connections with them, and everyday activities that we have with them. Institutions like schools, offices, etc. ground people in a sense, and sort of help in everyone knowing where everyone else is. If someone dies, we'll at least notice something's wrong because we never see them around and family would most likely send out notices to the institutions these people belonged to, so even if they were only acquaintances, we'd most likely receive word anyway.

In the Internet, though, things are so much more different. For the most part, each of us are connected to each other solely when we ourselves decide to interact with other people. Our email addresses are our own, we decide which forums to go to and which people to keep talking to (and make really good friends with), and even then nothing substantial would tie us there. Most of the people we know in real life don't know who our friends are in our cyber-life, so what happens when we die? Very few would have relatives who'd know of separate email accounts we may keep, and even less would even know our passwords.

I'm just saying that it's really.. strange. If I were to die within the next few weeks, for instance, no one would be able to tell my LJ friends about it, or the people at FAP, especially my shipmates, or my adopted newbie (long graduated but to whom I still write) in Unredeemed. I'd just fade out, popping out of nowhere at the beginning and disappearing just as easily. The people I've been friends with would never really know what happened either.

(I had a friend once, and we exchanged emails, and we grew close, but one day she stopped writing. I wonder what happened to her.)

So in any case, now that I've put myself in this sort of mood, I want to take this chance to tell all of YOU that I'll be here forever, and if I go, I'll always tell you where and what I'm doing, and JUST IN CASE, if I never know what's going to happen and if heaven forbid the worst DOES happen, if you haven't heard a word from me for at least three months and there was no prior announcement, then you'd have known what happened to me. And know also that I feel very happy with all of you and I have the best times with all the discussion going around, and you are very very dear to me.

I hope this doesn't come off as too melodramatic. I just want to make sure you know. :D

Love,
Slumber

Comments

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

You know, it's kind of silly and morbid of me, but I probably spend too much time thinking about this sort of stuff--like, who would notify my friends (online and off) if I were to die. My family could probably find friends' phone numbers in my little address book, but I don't have phone numbers for everyone I correspond with, and a lot of e-mail addresses I have memorized, but not saved anywhere else. I assume there would be an obituary in the local paper, and my alma mater would run a notice about it in the alumnae magazine. So there are at least a few people on my friends list here on LJ who would know relatively soon if I'd died or been hurt somehow: my cousin nimbus211, my best friend maerda (who lives many states away, but I'm sure my family would notify her), my friend fearless_leader, who was a few years behind me in college, and possibly chickenjodie, who lives here in Syracuse and knows my real full name (I think). I imagine any one of them would announce on LJ that something had happened to me, but I don't know how far that would spread, since not very many of my LJ friends also have any of them friended. I imagine there would be rumors circulating about my demise, haha:

-"Hey, I heard that novembersnow died!"
-"Nuh-uh!"
-"No, totally! I heard it from so-and-so, who heard it from so-and-so, who read it on so-and-so's LJ."

It would be like one of those dead celebrity rumors--a fandom urban legend. ;) (Hey, if one must think morbid thoughts, one might as well try to make light of them, right?)

Also, <3333, just because. :)

[slumber.livejournal.com]

The first time the thought crossed my mind, I was in Church. ;P

Yeah. I was thinking my brother is the only one who knows what my passwords are, but he wouldn't actually think to tell everyone I know what happened to me. It's just not one of the things people remember to do, right? unrouen would be the closest one who'd know, because she's the only one who knows me in real life and in the Internet, but thing is, I'm the only one who knows her within my usual circle of friends, so I wouldn't know if she'd actually know if I ever die and we haven't been in touch for a while...

And I can definitely picture those urban legends. ;D Thank God at least now there are LJs with which we can get updates on the lives (or not lives) of people, at least. Imagine before, when there was only email! :O

*<3333s back*

[unrouen.livejournal.com]

I think I'll know if you die but you wouldn't know if i know because then you'd already be dead and you'd have no way of knowing. ;D Maybe you could do a Lain and send me an email that you're dead but then you could do it yourself cause you've already sent me an emailed. LoL. ;D

You know I don't ever want to think of our internet lives as also bound by death, cause this is a place where in a weird sense we all come alive, and make friends and challenge the limitations of RL. And for death to destroy that, it's just sad. *huggles* anyway because in net and RL, you're a brilliant friend. ;)

[slumber.livejournal.com]

Silly girl. LOL. *huggles back* And really, you're a great friend, even if you make honest mistakes. ;P

[idroppedarice.livejournal.com]

I've thought about this before as well. But never in any real depth. There are a lot of people here, and on FA, that actually mean a lot to me. Especially some of the people on LJ, whom I can tell anything to, obviously.

You've really made me think... I would really want someone to tell you guys if anything happened to me. But I really have no one...

Well, enough for depressing thoughts. We're here now, and that's all that matters. ::huggles:: not assuming that you need them... but I feel like I do ;)

Love,
Arani (my real name :P)

[slumber.livejournal.com]

Well, enough for depressing thoughts. We're here now, and that's all that matters. ::huggles:: not assuming that you need them... but I feel like I do ;)

So long as I keep hearing from you, alright? Nothing to worry about. :D *hugs*

[meemobunny.livejournal.com]

it's passed through my mind many times before; i sometime just wonder what would happen if i did die and if anyone would even know or care. it's kinda weird, isn't it? i mean, if someone you met on the 'net suddenly dropped off the face of the earth, you'd assume that they got bored or had something else to do or whatever.
<333

[slumber.livejournal.com]

i mean, if someone you met on the 'net suddenly dropped off the face of the earth, you'd assume that they got bored or had something else to do or whatever.


Exactly. :) The net really is a double-edged sword, isn't it?

*huggles*

[al-riddle.livejournal.com]

Ah.

*hugs* I so will stay here forever too.

[slumber.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

You better. :D

[angel1013cc.livejournal.com]

you know i found ur journal on a randum search and loved what u wrote, because it is sooo soo very true. I befriended a girl online who had much in common with me, we bonded because of this likeness. Well sadly for about a month there was no more updates of her and i started to wonder why, when i checked my buddie list she was off mine but i was still on hers, so me always deleting people might have accidently deleted hers and was so happy to add her back when i went to read what she was been up to i foudn out she died 2 weeks after i accidently took her off my list..and her friends kept her journal going, i cryied the most i have ever cried because, i didn't know her in person but from afar and i didn't know for 2 weeks, it was a hard way to find out and also she was only 19 and, well, i thought about it later, And ur right she just dissapeared and i hate it.:-(

[slumber.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

At least there was some bit of closure for you, I guess. I had a friend and she hasn't been in touch for at least a year and a half, and I *still* don't know what happened to her..

[angel1013cc.livejournal.com]

o man that's gotta be hard. yeah closure was what i got, but i stil alway think about her. ahh, it's funny to becasuse i dont even know what she looks like, all i know is, what she told me. and the stories we shared. ok ok, enogh sad stuff..

carly