Death in the Internet

[slumber]

Dear friends,

I was supposed to put in an entry about something that happened this morning when I received a highly unusual email.

A few weeks ago, I posted on the ML Armchair Slash (something I rarely do), and I received what I thought to be was a reply to that post, which it wasn't. The reply turned out to be from the brother of the person who owned the email address, informing me (and everyone else that she corresponded with, or everyone else who sent her an email) that she had passed away a few months ago, and that he was simply just setting her affairs in order and letting everyone else know.

I've never been in a situation like this, actually, and it got me into thinking. If people we know die in real life, we usually would hear of it because we know them through our connections with them, and everyday activities that we have with them. Institutions like schools, offices, etc. ground people in a sense, and sort of help in everyone knowing where everyone else is. If someone dies, we'll at least notice something's wrong because we never see them around and family would most likely send out notices to the institutions these people belonged to, so even if they were only acquaintances, we'd most likely receive word anyway.

In the Internet, though, things are so much more different. For the most part, each of us are connected to each other solely when we ourselves decide to interact with other people. Our email addresses are our own, we decide which forums to go to and which people to keep talking to (and make really good friends with), and even then nothing substantial would tie us there. Most of the people we know in real life don't know who our friends are in our cyber-life, so what happens when we die? Very few would have relatives who'd know of separate email accounts we may keep, and even less would even know our passwords.

I'm just saying that it's really.. strange. If I were to die within the next few weeks, for instance, no one would be able to tell my LJ friends about it, or the people at FAP, especially my shipmates, or my adopted newbie (long graduated but to whom I still write) in Unredeemed. I'd just fade out, popping out of nowhere at the beginning and disappearing just as easily. The people I've been friends with would never really know what happened either.

(I had a friend once, and we exchanged emails, and we grew close, but one day she stopped writing. I wonder what happened to her.)

So in any case, now that I've put myself in this sort of mood, I want to take this chance to tell all of YOU that I'll be here forever, and if I go, I'll always tell you where and what I'm doing, and JUST IN CASE, if I never know what's going to happen and if heaven forbid the worst DOES happen, if you haven't heard a word from me for at least three months and there was no prior announcement, then you'd have known what happened to me. And know also that I feel very happy with all of you and I have the best times with all the discussion going around, and you are very very dear to me.

I hope this doesn't come off as too melodramatic. I just want to make sure you know. :D

Love,
Slumber

Comments

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

You know, it's kind of silly and morbid of me, but I probably spend too much time thinking about this sort of stuff--like, who would notify my friends (online and off) if I were to die. My family could probably find friends' phone numbers in my little address book, but I don't have phone numbers for everyone I correspond with, and a lot of e-mail addresses I have memorized, but not saved anywhere else. I assume there would be an obituary in the local paper, and my alma mater would run a notice about it in the alumnae magazine. So there are at least a few people on my friends list here on LJ who would know relatively soon if I'd died or been hurt somehow: my cousin nimbus211, my best friend maerda (who lives many states away, but I'm sure my family would notify her), my friend fearless_leader, who was a few years behind me in college, and possibly chickenjodie, who lives here in Syracuse and knows my real full name (I think). I imagine any one of them would announce on LJ that something had happened to me, but I don't know how far that would spread, since not very many of my LJ friends also have any of them friended. I imagine there would be rumors circulating about my demise, haha:

-"Hey, I heard that novembersnow died!"
-"Nuh-uh!"
-"No, totally! I heard it from so-and-so, who heard it from so-and-so, who read it on so-and-so's LJ."

It would be like one of those dead celebrity rumors--a fandom urban legend. ;) (Hey, if one must think morbid thoughts, one might as well try to make light of them, right?)

Also, <3333, just because. :)

[slumber.livejournal.com]

The first time the thought crossed my mind, I was in Church. ;P

Yeah. I was thinking my brother is the only one who knows what my passwords are, but he wouldn't actually think to tell everyone I know what happened to me. It's just not one of the things people remember to do, right? unrouen would be the closest one who'd know, because she's the only one who knows me in real life and in the Internet, but thing is, I'm the only one who knows her within my usual circle of friends, so I wouldn't know if she'd actually know if I ever die and we haven't been in touch for a while...

And I can definitely picture those urban legends. ;D Thank God at least now there are LJs with which we can get updates on the lives (or not lives) of people, at least. Imagine before, when there was only email! :O

*<3333s back*

[unrouen.livejournal.com]

I think I'll know if you die but you wouldn't know if i know because then you'd already be dead and you'd have no way of knowing. ;D Maybe you could do a Lain and send me an email that you're dead but then you could do it yourself cause you've already sent me an emailed. LoL. ;D

You know I don't ever want to think of our internet lives as also bound by death, cause this is a place where in a weird sense we all come alive, and make friends and challenge the limitations of RL. And for death to destroy that, it's just sad. *huggles* anyway because in net and RL, you're a brilliant friend. ;)

[slumber.livejournal.com]

Silly girl. LOL. *huggles back* And really, you're a great friend, even if you make honest mistakes. ;P